I have been sitting in the soup of our current times. The polarization, the intensity, the deep sorrow, and the uncertainty of this unease. I had been feeling exhausted, wanting to escape and find comfort in something outside of myself. My internal world has felt untethered to my perception of “normal”, yet often end up feeling worse than before. Regretting watching so much Netflix, feeling numbed and lonely.
I have been thinking about the metaphor of the “onion theory”… the self is like the onion, the truest, most authentic part lies deep in the center wrapped in layers of our experiences, attachments, and distortions. As we begin to peel back the outer layers we are peeling away our public, more defended aspects of the self. If we continue to peel we begin to reveal the innermost authentic parts of the self.
This takes time and an infinite amount of compassion and kindness to ourselves. I am using this analogy to think about what it means to be living consciously and awake during this time. The recent past and present have created the opportunity for many of us to go inward to evaluate our lives, and ourselves.
What skills, practices, or teachings support us. What is REAL self-care?
How do we care for the most vulnerable aspects of ourselves?
How can we bear witness to such profound changes in the world, yet still do the job of living our lives joyfully and with grace? Can we give ourselves permission to live this moment to its fullest, with all the emotions, good, bad, right or wrong… It just is.
Simultaneously, I’m actually in deep appreciation for my life. The dawning of warmer days, the smell of new blooms, the sun dancing on the water. I am learning to feel this appreciation and the unease all at once, both can be true I guess.
My invitation for you is to pay attention to all aspects of your experience and notice the richness in any given moment.
Allowing what impassions you, what motivates you to take up some space in your life. When we can unhook for the collective fear and suffering for ourselves it allows the possibility for all to unhook for the collective fear and suffering.